Extravagant Weddings

[ah1999]

Assalaamu laikum wa rehmatullah,
Another wedding season is over.
The extravaganza displayed by the Asian Muslims in the UK at weddings is becoming more and more shameful.
It seems that weddings are becoming more and more a stage to show off how rich you are. The irony is that many of the people who display various coloured limousines and expensive cars at their weddings are also those who are officially unemployed and claiming just about every State benefit.
Their aims seems to be to deceive those around them (including themselves) and arouse feelings of jealousy amongst neighbours, friends and realtives. This culture of self-display, showing off and pace-setting is so un-Islamic. The damage done to the Muslim community by this kind of behaviour is immeasurable.
Futhermore weddings are now like a film/show. The camera man tells people where to stand, when to move etc. etc. The women display themselves for the video-cameras for all to see. It is so shameful.
A wedding is a religious ceremony. If you conduct your affairs according to the Will of The Almighy, He will insha’Allah bless your wedding and those around you will may dua for you. But if violate Shariah conduct on such important religious occasions and all you want to do is self-display, show-off, make people feel jealous by a false display of wealth then even the angels will curse you.
People who behave in such a manner do not realize the damage they do to themselves and also the Muslim community at large. They set standards which will others try to emulate at whatever cost.
When I see this kind of behaviour at wedding it just comfirms my feeling that the descendency of the Muslim Ummah is going to continue for a long time.
I urge Muslims to try to prevent this kind of behaviour at weddings (and else where).

“He who seeks after this world is like the one who drinks sea water; the more he drinks, the more his thirst increases, until it kills him.”

Wassalaam, AH

[ish264u]

Agree 100%

weddngs are a real test for a families imaan these days and sad to say no matter how religious a family is, at wedding times fitnaah triumphs over Imaan. Experienced it twice this summer when cousins kids got married. In one it was so bad some elders and likeminded people walked out after 2min!

....and what's with filming someone when eating. go away!!

Tend to stay away these days. Ignore it and you are indulging in sin and if you say something your'e a fuddy duddy, old fashioned and backword with no sense of fun!

[ah1999]

Agree 100%

weddngs are a real test for a families imaan these days and sad to say no matter how religious a family is, at wedding times fitnaah triumphs over Imaan. Experienced it twice this summer when cousins kids got married. In one it was so bad some elders and likeminded people walked out after 2min!

....and what's with filming someone when eating. go away!!

Tend to stay away these days. Ignore it and you are indulging in sin and if you say something your'e a fuddy duddy, old fashioned and backword with no sense of fun!

Staying away is one option albeit an easy one....but if it's relatives, neighbours etc. it's difficult to say no.
The last wedding I went to when they were about to but on music (Bollywood style) I spoke to the hosts and they agreed not to play any music....so i felt I did some good.
I think best way is to attend/interact and pass on your knowledge, teach your relatives, friends about the Shariah rulings regarding such occasions etc.

If you are ivited to a wedding/walima you should attend (based on hadith) but if you know sinful acts will take place one has to reassess the situation.

[AgtBauer]

Yeah you raise a good point with many costing minimum £10k. If you got the cash and huge invite list.. what do you do..

[ish264u]

Staying away is one option albeit an easy one....but if it's relatives, neighbours etc. it's difficult to say no.
The last wedding I went to when they were about to but on music (Bollywood style) I spoke to the hosts and they agreed not to play any music....so i felt I did some good.
I think best way is to attend/interact and pass on your knowledge, teach your relatives, friends about the Shariah rulings regarding such occasions etc.

If you are ivited to a wedding/walima you should attend (based on hadith) but if you know sinful acts will take place one has to reassess the situation.

One side of the relative's are ultra religious and the other complete opposite. At the beginning tried giving dawah but I refrain now because some of the comments coming back can acutally take them out of the fold of Islam.

Some of them dont realise the seriousness of trivialising something and making flippant comments.

If it's not close family I dont bother going anymore. Usually just the Nikaah at the madrassah.

[Illuminate]

Yeah you raise a good point with many costing minimum £10k. If you got the cash and huge invite list.. what do you do..

You know weddings are meant to be a simple process - making a huge song and dance about it is more a culture thing than an isalmic thing. My cousin when he got married, we just went to the mosque for nikah, few friends and family, then back to his house, grab a bite to eat, which his mum cooked for us and then went home - There was no more than 2 dozen ppl.

All this hiring of expensive halls, expensive cars and spending large sums of money is just a waste of time, money and resource's.

[Muslimlarki]

Ah1999, I completely agree. The extravagance is utter madness. I don't know who anyone is trying to impress.

[Zesty]

You know weddings are meant to be a simple process - making a huge song and dance about it is more a culture thing than an isalmic thing. My cousin when he got married, we just went to the mosque for nikah, few friends and family, then back to his house, grab a bite to eat, which his mum cooked for us and then went home - There was no more than 2 dozen ppl.

All this hiring of expensive halls, expensive cars and spending large sums of money is just a waste of time, money and resource's.

Yep my friends wedding was the same- literally about 50 people at their house in total after the nikkah in the mosque. Her family cooked, they all ate and that was the end of it!
I also think its easier said than done! people who are in the situation must find it difficult- i know we dont have to please anyone except Allah (swt) but sometimes we do compromise just to lessen the tension and arguements! (Kinda ironic isnt it- cos the simple weddng should create the least amount of arguements if people actually gave some proper thought to it)!

[AgtBauer]

Illuminati yeah it's lot of money I agree.

But it's not always about showing off as well. It's according to taste, income as well as perception the families have. Simpler examples in thread may sound great on paper and maybe cost saving but lot of washing up after if you got 40-50 people at your house.

Supose hiring venue takes some of the pressure off when numbers are large e.g. large social network.

[Salaam]

You know - it's a lot easier said than done.

I'd always dreamt of a simple wedding and was adamant on sticking to the sunnah... but when it comes to the crunch, it's not that easy. Simple ideas are looked down on, as though one is being stingey, etc.

Sadly saving face in the community seems far more important than doing things for the pleasure of Allah swt.

[Salaam]

Illuminati yeah it's lot of money I agree.

But it's not always about showing off as well. It's according to taste, income as well as perception the families have. Simpler examples in thread may sound great on paper and maybe cost saving but lot of washing up after if you got 40-50 people at your house.

Supose hiring venue takes some of the pressure off when numbers are large e.g. large social network.

I agree about that. Hiring venues does save the headache and stress of catering for people yourselves!!

[Sweety]

The last wedding i went to they played nasheeds, better than any other music i guess. But there was no segregation! I was very suprised, yeah there was woman in one side and the men other but u could still see everyone and also there were a few men on the women side!

So im all up for a simple wedding, when i talk about it everyones like are u inviting me and im like no and they get very upset! I dont know, let the time come and then i'll think about what to do.

[Salaam]

Is it haram to have a professional video camera at a wedding? No personal opinions please - I need hard facts for why it's haram. Please help!

If I say it's haram because it could get shared around and non mahrem will see the video, then the person I'm arguing will retort back that it can be kept for families only...
So what good reasons are there for not wanting a professional video camera at a wedding??

[AgtBauer]

Salaam so basically you want a pro-haraam stance for video cameras at weddings? The reasons for not wanting one will of course be personal preference and that's what you should make clear.

I don't think it's haraam because it's not like printed like photograpghs which some are of the view that they're haraam. Yeah and also it's not like your usual recordings, you probably won't look at it for decades once done and will serve a reminder of the day.

[Salaam]

Salaam so basically you want a pro-haraam stance for video cameras at weddings? The reasons for not wanting one will of course be personal preference and that's what you should make clear.

I don't think it's haraam because it's not like printed like photograpghs which some are of the view that they're haraam. Yeah and also it's not like your usual recordings, you probably won't look at it for decades once done and will serve a reminder of the day.

Thanks... well no I just want the truth I guess. The alimah I used to go for Quran lessons told me strictly that it was haram (they are very strict as it is with no tv allowed in the house) to have a video camera in weddings.

If it's not haram, then fine - I don't mind. But if it is then obviously I need to know the reasons why so I can convince people in my family not to get one.

[Sweety]

Is it haram to have a professional video camera at a wedding? No personal opinions please - I need hard facts for why it's haram. Please help!

If I say it's haram because it could get shared around and non mahrem will see the video, then the person I'm arguing will retort back that it can be kept for families only...
So what good reasons are there for not wanting a professional video camera at a wedding??

Tell them if they wanna record then do it urself

I hate the camera man!! lol I run away when i see the light that they use.

[ish264u]

Is it haram to have a professional video camera at a wedding? No personal opinions please - I need hard facts for why it's haram. Please help!

If I say it's haram because it could get shared around and non mahrem will see the video, then the person I'm arguing will retort back that it can be kept for families only...
So what good reasons are there for not wanting a professional video camera at a wedding??

Salaam somebody asked a similar question here:

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...ID=564&CATE=10

[Salaam]

Salaam somebody asked a similar question here:

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...ID=564&CATE=10

This is saying that it's haram....

[ish264u]

This is saying that it's haram....

......yes and...

[Salaam]

......yes and...

..... Nothing... it's just the arguments they've used... I relayed them to the person I'm trying to convince against video taping. Not very strong reasons are they? That it encourages people to get dressed up unislamically because people know there are video cameras...?

I'll be really honest with you - I think there's going to be a video camera at my wedding. I'm just a lone voice against it with too many people asking what's my problem??? Including the stupid fiance!